final draft close reading assignment revise the draft for final

I am attaching the assignment instructions and the assignment rubric. I am also attaching the story again and a copy of the draft that you did on this. Below are the comments I received from instructor after he reviewed the draft to use for the final.

First off, some minor corrections: you need an MLA style heading with your name, etc., on the top of the page. Your citation can come at the end of the essay. You do well to start by focusing on the specific diction in the passage. I lose you, however, when you start discussing what you call Marquez’s “use of humor.” I’m not sure exactly what you mean by this, and if you want to run with this idea, you’ll need more textual evidence to support this claim. Also, how does this mesh with your claims about the assigned passage and “time” (your paragraph 2)? Your comments on the element of character are solid, but they need expanding upon. Do we have flat, round, dynamic, static characters? As far the significance within the larger story, you mention that this passage “provides a hunger for the deeper story to understand the role of the child in the wider plot.” You also say this passage creates “suspense.” Surely it does more than that, right? Your close reading should show that you are familiar with the full story (and we are too). So, there wouldn’t really be any suspense, since we’ve all read it. Make sense? Your claims about the story’s significance should show a more concrete understanding of how the passage fits into Marquez’s full story, without any worry of spoilers, so to speak. What about your unique reading illuminates the story for your reader?

 

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